this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
