and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
