FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
