I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Someone signed my nipple.
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