Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
