areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My liver just broke up with me...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize