Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
