I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
