So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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