So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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