her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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