Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
