first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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