this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
