yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
