In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
