rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize