Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
