We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
