is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
