Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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