You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
