the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
