I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
