I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
