Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
