Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Mom said you looked used
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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