sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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