OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
