I wannas sexs uuuuu
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
