if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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