its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
