I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
