Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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