I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Actions speak louder than pants.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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