the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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