Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
