just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
