I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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