my being single is dangerous.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
