Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
