so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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