please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
