i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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