well you can't waste a boner
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
