I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
