I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Still dying that you shit outside
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
