Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
