Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
