How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
