it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
