I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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